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Journal – May 2018
Well, here I am again, preparing the next chapter in Donna’s Story. “Just you hold on a minute. Move away from the keyboard. It’s my turn. You’ve written all the chapters so far. This is Donna’s Story; my story, so it’s my turn. I’ve got things to say.” (Sigh). Don’t I know it! “I have some good news to let you all know about. When Johnnie came to visit me yesterday, I got really excited as I always do. I smiled at him, held my arms out for a hug and kiss. And, as usual, I whispered to him that I love him. I always do that now. It’s so nice when he comes. He makes me feel so comfortable. |
DONNA'S
STORY 
Me and my favourite boyfriend
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“And Johnnie tells me he loves me too. But he sometimes gets things confused. He doesn’t seem to remember that I like three kisses, not just one. However, yesterday, when he arrived, I was holding Dale’s hand and Johnnie was a bit surprised – maybe a little reluctant to kiss me three times.
“But that’s my good news. I have a new boy-friend – Dale. Let me see now...first there was Alex, then Americo, then Doug, then Lewis, then Alan, and now Dale.
“I don’t remember much about Alex. He’s still here but he doesn’t pay any attention to me anymore.
“Same with Doug. But I still like Doug because he likes to sing and so do I.
“I almost remember Americo ‘cause he used to joke with me and stroke my thigh – I liked that. But Americo has gone away somewhere.
“I didn’t really care for Lewis. He was always groping me and trying to kiss me. He still tries it on with me some days, but he has lots of other girlfriends around here.
“Alan was great. He used to just sit in front of me with our knees touching, hold both my hands, stare into my face, and say, ‘My God! You’re beautiful.’ Let’s face it. A girl really likes to hear things like that. Johnnie tells me he loves me, every once in a while, but I would like it even more if he told me I was beautiful.”
I do tell you – often. But you are sometimes just staring into space and you don’t really hear me.
“Shut up! I’m talking!
“And now there’s Dale. He’s great. He just smiles at me and doesn’t say much. But that’s okay, ‘cause I have a lot to say. He listens to me and likes to hold my hand as we walk down the hall. I like to hold his hand, too. He has nice, warm hands. He’s very gentle.
“Of course, my real love is Johnnie, or Uncle John, or Daddy. Sometimes I even call him Donna because I occasionally get names mixed up. But he exasperates me at times. When he comes to visit, he is supposed to be paying attention to me...right? Well, he often ignores me just so he can talk to my servants – Gerry, or Todd, or Anna, or Hil, or...there’s more but I can’t seem to remember all their names. And I often find him talking to my girlfriends – Sue, Jenny, and Gloria. He actually hugged Jenny the other day. I mean, that’s not paying attention to me, is it? I notice that he particularly likes talking to other women. Of course, that’s why I have to tell him to ‘shut up’ – often. That’s no way to treat your favourite girl – by talking to other girls.
“But that’s my good news. I have a new boy-friend – Dale. Let me see now...first there was Alex, then Americo, then Doug, then Lewis, then Alan, and now Dale.
“I don’t remember much about Alex. He’s still here but he doesn’t pay any attention to me anymore.
“Same with Doug. But I still like Doug because he likes to sing and so do I.
“I almost remember Americo ‘cause he used to joke with me and stroke my thigh – I liked that. But Americo has gone away somewhere.
“I didn’t really care for Lewis. He was always groping me and trying to kiss me. He still tries it on with me some days, but he has lots of other girlfriends around here.
“Alan was great. He used to just sit in front of me with our knees touching, hold both my hands, stare into my face, and say, ‘My God! You’re beautiful.’ Let’s face it. A girl really likes to hear things like that. Johnnie tells me he loves me, every once in a while, but I would like it even more if he told me I was beautiful.”
I do tell you – often. But you are sometimes just staring into space and you don’t really hear me.
“Shut up! I’m talking!
“And now there’s Dale. He’s great. He just smiles at me and doesn’t say much. But that’s okay, ‘cause I have a lot to say. He listens to me and likes to hold my hand as we walk down the hall. I like to hold his hand, too. He has nice, warm hands. He’s very gentle.
“Of course, my real love is Johnnie, or Uncle John, or Daddy. Sometimes I even call him Donna because I occasionally get names mixed up. But he exasperates me at times. When he comes to visit, he is supposed to be paying attention to me...right? Well, he often ignores me just so he can talk to my servants – Gerry, or Todd, or Anna, or Hil, or...there’s more but I can’t seem to remember all their names. And I often find him talking to my girlfriends – Sue, Jenny, and Gloria. He actually hugged Jenny the other day. I mean, that’s not paying attention to me, is it? I notice that he particularly likes talking to other women. Of course, that’s why I have to tell him to ‘shut up’ – often. That’s no way to treat your favourite girl – by talking to other girls.
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“He was even dancing with Gloria last Wednesday at ‘Pub Night’. Isn’t he supposed to be dancing with me? He knows how much I love dancing. You know, I really enjoy dancing with my friend Elva, but mostly I like dancing with Johnnie. Okay, he dances with me too, and I know it was Gloria who asked him to dance with her, last Wednesday.
She’s paying way too much attention to my favourite man and I might have to scratch her eyes out. Now that I’m a teenager, I can do that. “Here’s a picture of me dancing with Elva. I had a picture of Johnnie dancing with Gloria but I tore it up and replaced it with this picture you see above of him and me. Teenagers can do that. |
“I am very happy here at my home. I have lots of friends and my servants take good care of me, except when they insist that I have a shower on Sunday. Showering is not fun and Lorraine, my bath lady, tells everyone that I shout at her and swear at her on those days. I DO NOT!
“It’s funny, but even my best friend Marylynn says that I sometimes swear. Okay. So I do occasionally blurt out a four-letter word, but only because it’s necessary for emphasis. And I always wink at Marylynn when I swear. She knows I don’t mean it. Sometimes a four-letter word is important in order to ensure that my servants treat me with the proper respect. Sometimes I do it to get Johnnie to focus his attention on me. I like a lot of attention.
“I love you, Johnnie!”
Yes! I know you do. And I love you too.
“Shut up! I’m talking!
“Today, when I am just sitting alone and thinking of things, I hear music playing. It’s wonderful. So I find myself tapping my toes, clapping my hands or waving my arms and patting various things around me, to the rhythm in my head. Sometimes I sing along to the music – mostly just inside me but occasionally out loud. When I sing out loud other people begin singing along with me, so it’s necessary for me to make up some words to go with the song. This is a fun thing to do. Everybody pretends they know what I’m singing but that is my little joke, so I chuckle to myself.”
Oh! Where did she go? I guess that’s it. Donna has just left the keyboard and wandered off, possibly in search of Dale, but more likely just wandered off with no particular objective. She is happy, and what more can I expect from the wonderful care she is receiving. What more can I wish for her remaining years.
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The environment for health care for all us seniors today is changing rapidly. Who knows what the future will bring as we get ready for our waning years. The environment at George Derby is changing with new management just coming on board – having to deal with a significantly different world in the care of the elderly and infirm; quite different than it was only two or three years ago. And the environment in Donna’s Special Care ward is also changing. Out of the twenty-nine residents in that unit only three remain from the day Donna joined them in 2015. New residents are typically much farther along in their dementia than Donna was on her admission; farther along even, than Donna is today. Life expectancy in residential care homes is considerably shorter than it was two years ago.
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Today, as a nation, we do not manage our old age well or wisely. It will only get worse before it gets better.
Fifty years ago we were all expected to live, on average, five years after our retirement at age sixty-five. A life expectancy of seventy years was the norm. Today, only fifty years later, we retire at sixty and survive twenty-five years after retirement, with all the ailments that can arise over those extra twenty years.
Fifty years ago we had approximately forty-five productive years where we worked and contributed to the general wealth of our society, leaving us with about twenty-five non-productive years. Today we have approximately forty productive years, leaving us with about forty-five un-productive years to spend on the golf course.
Who will pay for all the extended care necessary?
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And “What is this thing called Alzheimer’s?” Alzheimer’s is, quite possibly, not a disease at all – just the natural result of our brain wearing out, just as all our other body parts wear out as we age. We live fifteen years longer than we did fifty years ago, due for the most part, to the advances in medical science. Perhaps our bodies haven’t yet evolved to the point of being able to keep those body parts healthy and working adequately for those extra fifteen years.
There are question marks about our future. I wonder what it will be like fifty years from now.
Sorry for getting so maudlin.
“It’s funny, but even my best friend Marylynn says that I sometimes swear. Okay. So I do occasionally blurt out a four-letter word, but only because it’s necessary for emphasis. And I always wink at Marylynn when I swear. She knows I don’t mean it. Sometimes a four-letter word is important in order to ensure that my servants treat me with the proper respect. Sometimes I do it to get Johnnie to focus his attention on me. I like a lot of attention.
“I love you, Johnnie!”
Yes! I know you do. And I love you too.
“Shut up! I’m talking!
“Today, when I am just sitting alone and thinking of things, I hear music playing. It’s wonderful. So I find myself tapping my toes, clapping my hands or waving my arms and patting various things around me, to the rhythm in my head. Sometimes I sing along to the music – mostly just inside me but occasionally out loud. When I sing out loud other people begin singing along with me, so it’s necessary for me to make up some words to go with the song. This is a fun thing to do. Everybody pretends they know what I’m singing but that is my little joke, so I chuckle to myself.”
Oh! Where did she go? I guess that’s it. Donna has just left the keyboard and wandered off, possibly in search of Dale, but more likely just wandered off with no particular objective. She is happy, and what more can I expect from the wonderful care she is receiving. What more can I wish for her remaining years.
-----
The environment for health care for all us seniors today is changing rapidly. Who knows what the future will bring as we get ready for our waning years. The environment at George Derby is changing with new management just coming on board – having to deal with a significantly different world in the care of the elderly and infirm; quite different than it was only two or three years ago. And the environment in Donna’s Special Care ward is also changing. Out of the twenty-nine residents in that unit only three remain from the day Donna joined them in 2015. New residents are typically much farther along in their dementia than Donna was on her admission; farther along even, than Donna is today. Life expectancy in residential care homes is considerably shorter than it was two years ago.
-----
Today, as a nation, we do not manage our old age well or wisely. It will only get worse before it gets better.
Fifty years ago we were all expected to live, on average, five years after our retirement at age sixty-five. A life expectancy of seventy years was the norm. Today, only fifty years later, we retire at sixty and survive twenty-five years after retirement, with all the ailments that can arise over those extra twenty years.
Fifty years ago we had approximately forty-five productive years where we worked and contributed to the general wealth of our society, leaving us with about twenty-five non-productive years. Today we have approximately forty productive years, leaving us with about forty-five un-productive years to spend on the golf course.
Who will pay for all the extended care necessary?
-----
And “What is this thing called Alzheimer’s?” Alzheimer’s is, quite possibly, not a disease at all – just the natural result of our brain wearing out, just as all our other body parts wear out as we age. We live fifteen years longer than we did fifty years ago, due for the most part, to the advances in medical science. Perhaps our bodies haven’t yet evolved to the point of being able to keep those body parts healthy and working adequately for those extra fifteen years.
There are question marks about our future. I wonder what it will be like fifty years from now.
Sorry for getting so maudlin.
