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Journal – June 2018
Well, here we are at the end of July and no ‘Donna’s Story’ Journal for June is yet in print. I’ve been reminded – perhaps even chastised – to ‘pull my socks up’ and get going. I understand there are thousands of you out there who, for some reason, are interested in my ramblings. More likely, you are interested in hearing about Donna. |
DONNA'S
STORY |
The past two months in my life has been full of possibly life-changing events, and I offer these as my excuse for lack of diligence. I have not simply put Donna on the back-burner.
I do, however, exaggerate occasionally, so you may not see these as life-changing events. I also waffle a lot, writing long sentences, saying not much of anything.
My first possibly life-changing event is that I have finally completed my novel that I began in 2011. It is called ‘Jebediah Bilodeau’. I have struggled with it over the years but it is now finally complete – except for the endless exercises to: correct the grammar, spelling and punctuation; put events into an appropriate context; and generally hone the manuscript into something readable. I have cajoled my sister, Sandy, to work as my literary advisor and editor – free of charge, of course. She’s doing it out of the love in her heart. The novel’s completion gives me some new challenges – challenges guaranteed to harden the heart of any aspiring author. I must now convince someone it is worthy of publication.
My second possibly life-changing event is that I have finally seen the light and resigned from my Strata Council. Surprise! Surprise! The building hasn’t caught fire; nor has it collapsed or succumbed to other disasters – natural, or otherwise. I guess they just don’t need me. Good! I am finally free of those anxieties; the manipulations, harassments, bickering, bullying, and ‘Strata-Nazi’ methodologies used to police our bylaws. I can get back to just being a neighbour.
My third ‘life-changing’ event is that at least three people around me have been subjected to (or are soon to be subjected to) serious surgery. Any thought of surgery fills us all with high anxiety. Thirty years ago, none of these people would have survived their ailments. But, today, due to some incredible medical advancements, we see these surgeries to be life-extending operations – not ‘life-threatening’. Full of stress, none-the-less.
My fourth ‘life-changing’ event is my personal health over the last month or so. Not life-threatening, like those described above, but just as stressful to me. Two years ago I suffered with a ‘Wee Bout of Gout’ as I described it in a poem I dedicated to the event. Back then I was prescribed some anti-inflammatory meds that quickly returned life to normal. But my Doc said, “No! No! You must not take those drugs. They contain naproxen. They are not for you, my boy.” Well, he didn’t actually say, “My boy” but all else is true.
Over the past few weeks, I have been completely immobilized with a second attack of gout. I have been ‘living through the pain’ without benefit of medication, and let me tell you, “It hurts!”
These four events have sapped a considerable amount of energy and creative juices from my fingers and keyboard. I wake each morning full of good intention, come into my office with my coffee, juice and bagel, and try to remember all the brilliant, nay, sensational ideas and phrases that passed through my brain during the previous night. Alas! A couple of deep and powerful throbs in my right foot reminds me that I am already exhausted before my fingers start a-dancing.
But these are all just excuses.
The real reason I have been so negligent regarding Donna’s on-going journal, is that I am running out of things to say. For at least the past year I have noticed very little change in Donna’s well-being. Others say the same thing.
She is very comfortable and happy. She often tells me how much she likes her new home and family. She’s particularly friendly to her men-friends. She's a 'spring chicken', a teenager, compared to these elegant, aging gentlemen who are all fifteen to twenty years older than she is. But Donna is overjoyed with everyone she meets who will talk to her.
Donna happily feeds herself today; an improvement over this time last year. She even takes her soup regularly. She particularly likes breakfast, eating endless supplies of toast, peanut-butter and jam.
However, with no significant changes, no visible regression, I am reluctant to continue describing anecdotes that become very repetitive and boring. You have probably noticed a change in the reporting style of my journals over this past year, from purely anecdotal to a being little more philosophical. Today, I talk more of our personal relationship, how our love continues, even develops and grows – despite that rogue Alzheimer, stealing as much of Donna’s personality as he can find.
I am deciding to change the frequency of my reporting from monthly journals or blogs, to quarterly. As time moves forward, I will focus more on our personal relationship, and how our love for each other continues. As Donna’s cognitive and conversational skills steadily deteriorate, there will be less and less things we will be able to do together, less and less things that can be reported.
So, please look for my next journal of ‘Donna’s Story’ around the end of September.
In the meantime, I will leave you with a recent anecdote of an event that occurred just a few days ago. It involves a person who I thought was one of Donna’s past paramours.
Doug is a co-resident in Special Care West. He is a gentleman. He is also a gentle man. Doug would do nothing to offend anyone, particularly women. However, he has a somewhat peculiar trait in that he tends to come up behind a person and just stand there – hovering. Care-aide Lorraine, describes him as being very like Snoopy, quietly sitting on his doghouse, ‘in character’ as a vulture. Like a vulture, Snoopy just hovers, leaning forward slightly, moving nothing but his eyes.
That describes Doug to a 'T'. He means no offense; apparently does not intend to join in any conversation for he doesn’t speak. He can speak - simply chooses not to. He just stands there, very close, leaning forward a little. He hovers! This habit is having an unnerving effect on some of the residents, care-aides and companions.
So I’m sitting in the lunch-room with Donna, talking with care-aide Betty. We are discussing Donna’s improved eating habits and Donna is joining in parts of that conversation, loudly telling us both to SHUT UP at times. Doug comes over to us and ‘hovers’. The three of us basically ignore him. He doesn’t mind. He just stands perfectly still; his eyes flicking back and forth between us.
After a few moments he reaches over, takes Donna’s hand and holds it.
Betty interrupts. “Oh, no, Doug. This is John. Donna’s husband. You know! Donna and John are married.”
Doug’s face broadens to a smile and a huge look of surprise. “What? Married? Are you sure?”
He looks over at me and says, “You two are married? I didn’t know! Are you sure?”
I smile and murmur sarcastically, "I have the paperwork to prove it."
He slowly lets go of Donna’s hand, stares off into space, and mutters to us all, “Well! That changes things a little, doesn’t it?”
I do, however, exaggerate occasionally, so you may not see these as life-changing events. I also waffle a lot, writing long sentences, saying not much of anything.
My first possibly life-changing event is that I have finally completed my novel that I began in 2011. It is called ‘Jebediah Bilodeau’. I have struggled with it over the years but it is now finally complete – except for the endless exercises to: correct the grammar, spelling and punctuation; put events into an appropriate context; and generally hone the manuscript into something readable. I have cajoled my sister, Sandy, to work as my literary advisor and editor – free of charge, of course. She’s doing it out of the love in her heart. The novel’s completion gives me some new challenges – challenges guaranteed to harden the heart of any aspiring author. I must now convince someone it is worthy of publication.
My second possibly life-changing event is that I have finally seen the light and resigned from my Strata Council. Surprise! Surprise! The building hasn’t caught fire; nor has it collapsed or succumbed to other disasters – natural, or otherwise. I guess they just don’t need me. Good! I am finally free of those anxieties; the manipulations, harassments, bickering, bullying, and ‘Strata-Nazi’ methodologies used to police our bylaws. I can get back to just being a neighbour.
My third ‘life-changing’ event is that at least three people around me have been subjected to (or are soon to be subjected to) serious surgery. Any thought of surgery fills us all with high anxiety. Thirty years ago, none of these people would have survived their ailments. But, today, due to some incredible medical advancements, we see these surgeries to be life-extending operations – not ‘life-threatening’. Full of stress, none-the-less.
My fourth ‘life-changing’ event is my personal health over the last month or so. Not life-threatening, like those described above, but just as stressful to me. Two years ago I suffered with a ‘Wee Bout of Gout’ as I described it in a poem I dedicated to the event. Back then I was prescribed some anti-inflammatory meds that quickly returned life to normal. But my Doc said, “No! No! You must not take those drugs. They contain naproxen. They are not for you, my boy.” Well, he didn’t actually say, “My boy” but all else is true.
Over the past few weeks, I have been completely immobilized with a second attack of gout. I have been ‘living through the pain’ without benefit of medication, and let me tell you, “It hurts!”
These four events have sapped a considerable amount of energy and creative juices from my fingers and keyboard. I wake each morning full of good intention, come into my office with my coffee, juice and bagel, and try to remember all the brilliant, nay, sensational ideas and phrases that passed through my brain during the previous night. Alas! A couple of deep and powerful throbs in my right foot reminds me that I am already exhausted before my fingers start a-dancing.
But these are all just excuses.
The real reason I have been so negligent regarding Donna’s on-going journal, is that I am running out of things to say. For at least the past year I have noticed very little change in Donna’s well-being. Others say the same thing.
She is very comfortable and happy. She often tells me how much she likes her new home and family. She’s particularly friendly to her men-friends. She's a 'spring chicken', a teenager, compared to these elegant, aging gentlemen who are all fifteen to twenty years older than she is. But Donna is overjoyed with everyone she meets who will talk to her.
Donna happily feeds herself today; an improvement over this time last year. She even takes her soup regularly. She particularly likes breakfast, eating endless supplies of toast, peanut-butter and jam.
However, with no significant changes, no visible regression, I am reluctant to continue describing anecdotes that become very repetitive and boring. You have probably noticed a change in the reporting style of my journals over this past year, from purely anecdotal to a being little more philosophical. Today, I talk more of our personal relationship, how our love continues, even develops and grows – despite that rogue Alzheimer, stealing as much of Donna’s personality as he can find.
I am deciding to change the frequency of my reporting from monthly journals or blogs, to quarterly. As time moves forward, I will focus more on our personal relationship, and how our love for each other continues. As Donna’s cognitive and conversational skills steadily deteriorate, there will be less and less things we will be able to do together, less and less things that can be reported.
So, please look for my next journal of ‘Donna’s Story’ around the end of September.
In the meantime, I will leave you with a recent anecdote of an event that occurred just a few days ago. It involves a person who I thought was one of Donna’s past paramours.
Doug is a co-resident in Special Care West. He is a gentleman. He is also a gentle man. Doug would do nothing to offend anyone, particularly women. However, he has a somewhat peculiar trait in that he tends to come up behind a person and just stand there – hovering. Care-aide Lorraine, describes him as being very like Snoopy, quietly sitting on his doghouse, ‘in character’ as a vulture. Like a vulture, Snoopy just hovers, leaning forward slightly, moving nothing but his eyes.
That describes Doug to a 'T'. He means no offense; apparently does not intend to join in any conversation for he doesn’t speak. He can speak - simply chooses not to. He just stands there, very close, leaning forward a little. He hovers! This habit is having an unnerving effect on some of the residents, care-aides and companions.
So I’m sitting in the lunch-room with Donna, talking with care-aide Betty. We are discussing Donna’s improved eating habits and Donna is joining in parts of that conversation, loudly telling us both to SHUT UP at times. Doug comes over to us and ‘hovers’. The three of us basically ignore him. He doesn’t mind. He just stands perfectly still; his eyes flicking back and forth between us.
After a few moments he reaches over, takes Donna’s hand and holds it.
Betty interrupts. “Oh, no, Doug. This is John. Donna’s husband. You know! Donna and John are married.”
Doug’s face broadens to a smile and a huge look of surprise. “What? Married? Are you sure?”
He looks over at me and says, “You two are married? I didn’t know! Are you sure?”
I smile and murmur sarcastically, "I have the paperwork to prove it."
He slowly lets go of Donna’s hand, stares off into space, and mutters to us all, “Well! That changes things a little, doesn’t it?”
