Jebediah Bilodeau |
A novel by
John Knapp |
Jebediah Bilodeau
A brief synopsis
Due to a dreadful natural disaster, two teenage boys are brought together.
After a rocky meeting, they quickly become good friends and spend much
of their time just doing things that boys like to do.
Over time they develop strong bonds – a brotherly love – and come to rely on
each other for guidance as they slowly evolve into manhood.
Part of that evolution is the discovery that girls are very appealing. Emotions stemming from this realization bring complexity in their lives they aren’t expecting.
This story, seen through the eyes of one of the boys, takes us through
a very complicated part of their lives as they mature and consider
where their lives might take them after they finish high school.
Perhaps they will pursue further education. Perhaps they will begin
their careers. Perhaps they will discover love.
Perhaps all three.
Their road is rough in parts, happy and easy in parts,
and is also tragic in parts.
After a rocky meeting, they quickly become good friends and spend much
of their time just doing things that boys like to do.
Over time they develop strong bonds – a brotherly love – and come to rely on
each other for guidance as they slowly evolve into manhood.
Part of that evolution is the discovery that girls are very appealing. Emotions stemming from this realization bring complexity in their lives they aren’t expecting.
This story, seen through the eyes of one of the boys, takes us through
a very complicated part of their lives as they mature and consider
where their lives might take them after they finish high school.
Perhaps they will pursue further education. Perhaps they will begin
their careers. Perhaps they will discover love.
Perhaps all three.
Their road is rough in parts, happy and easy in parts,
and is also tragic in parts.
How Jebediah Bilodeau came to life!
This story began it's life in 2011 as a number of unrelated ramblings by me; a distraught caregiver tending for his wife and her sufferings due to Alzheimer's. I needed a release! When 'Home Help' came for a few hours each week, I grabbed my laptop and headed to the local library. There, I just pounded away on the keyboard until my fingers went numb, writing a few happy stories about Caleb and Jeb, two teenage boys, coming to know and like each other - doing things like Snigglin' Catfish. Only later did I look back and see those ramblings as having some continuity; some possible overall story content.
As the stories came together and evolved into a single book, relationships between the principal characters also evolved and grew. In those early days I concentrated on the two boys and didn't write anything significant about Marly, but she was in the back of my mind right from the start. She pokes her nose in, here and there in those early chapters, but I always knew she would enter, 'stage-left', a few chapters on.
Marly's arrival gave me a problem. Love! How was I going to put 'love' into words on a page? I've never written anything truly emotional. I continued to write surrounding chapters on various topics but whenever it came to a place where my characters wanted to express their feelings for each other, I was blocked.
I began to realize that, if I were going to finish 'Jebediah Bilodeau', I was going to have to release some of my own inner feelings and inhibitions. How was I to do that? I was able to create the scenes and events, but how was I to express the character's emotions? Emotions have to be real, and I suffer from a basic problem here. I'm a man! Sensitive perspectives on friendship, love and sex, are very difficult for most men to understand, let alone make public - me included. What should I do? Give up?
I spent quite a few months dreaming and worrying about it. Slowly, slowly, I started to realize that my character's emotional problems were probably also mine; locked up in my psyche. Everything got tangled up between my imagination and my relationships with others over the years - particularly with Donna. From her care-home, Donna came to my rescue. Alzheimer's had caused her to regress to her teenage years regarding her emotions towards me. She was suddenly much more open and expressive in her feelings than she ever was in the past. I learned a lesson from that. I practised a similar open expressiveness when talking to her of my love. What a difference I felt. Donna too! Some of my inhibitions were beginning to fade; locked doors were being opened.
I still needed help, particularly with Marly. I asked my sister, Sandra, for some editorial assistance - guidance through those sensitive, emotional passages. She helped me see some of the scenes from a woman's perspective, or a girl's perspective - often considerably different from mine. Yet the story had to be my story; had to be written by me, from my perspective. All my characters needed to be free to express themselves realistically. Sandra's help proved invaluable. As a result, about a year ago, I began to find ways to allow my fictional characters to express their feelings for each other in a sensitive way. My writing block slowly melted away.
But, how does a seventy-five year old man expect to be able to write sensitively about the lives of teenagers? Those complicated teen years prior to high-school graduation create a dichotomy of emotions in everyone. We've all lived through those years. For me that was sixty years ago. Is there a parallel today? I think there is.
Teens! I address you!
These are tough times! It's time to face the first of your life's great adventures. As high-school graduation looms, it's the time when you discover that personal independence and responsibility are not things that you are given. These are things that you must take. Major decisions are required - by you! "Do I continue my education? Do I start my career?" Exciting? Yes! But also daunting! It might be necessary to leave family, friends, and those you love - possibly forever.
And love! Whether love for family, brotherly love of a close friend, or newly discovered passionate love; all forms of love add a complexity to the equation that is sometimes very hard to master. Like I said, "Tough times!"
'Jebediah Bilodeau' tells a story of these times.
Those close to me, who have read the entire book, tell me that this story is not totally fiction - it has biographical overtones - characters are recognized, including the occasional appearance of an old girlfriend of mine from my teenage years. I assure you that this story, scenes and events are fictional - purely my imagination. But what goes on in the minds of Caleb, Jeb, and Marly; who can tell?
When 'Jebediah Bilodeau' is published, I hope you enjoy reading it. For the present, please enjoy the first few chapters.
Is it possible to write a truly fictional novel that doesn't contain at least one semblance of the character and experiences of the author and those around him? I don't know the answer to that question. If I did, I probably wouldn't say.
As the stories came together and evolved into a single book, relationships between the principal characters also evolved and grew. In those early days I concentrated on the two boys and didn't write anything significant about Marly, but she was in the back of my mind right from the start. She pokes her nose in, here and there in those early chapters, but I always knew she would enter, 'stage-left', a few chapters on.
Marly's arrival gave me a problem. Love! How was I going to put 'love' into words on a page? I've never written anything truly emotional. I continued to write surrounding chapters on various topics but whenever it came to a place where my characters wanted to express their feelings for each other, I was blocked.
I began to realize that, if I were going to finish 'Jebediah Bilodeau', I was going to have to release some of my own inner feelings and inhibitions. How was I to do that? I was able to create the scenes and events, but how was I to express the character's emotions? Emotions have to be real, and I suffer from a basic problem here. I'm a man! Sensitive perspectives on friendship, love and sex, are very difficult for most men to understand, let alone make public - me included. What should I do? Give up?
I spent quite a few months dreaming and worrying about it. Slowly, slowly, I started to realize that my character's emotional problems were probably also mine; locked up in my psyche. Everything got tangled up between my imagination and my relationships with others over the years - particularly with Donna. From her care-home, Donna came to my rescue. Alzheimer's had caused her to regress to her teenage years regarding her emotions towards me. She was suddenly much more open and expressive in her feelings than she ever was in the past. I learned a lesson from that. I practised a similar open expressiveness when talking to her of my love. What a difference I felt. Donna too! Some of my inhibitions were beginning to fade; locked doors were being opened.
I still needed help, particularly with Marly. I asked my sister, Sandra, for some editorial assistance - guidance through those sensitive, emotional passages. She helped me see some of the scenes from a woman's perspective, or a girl's perspective - often considerably different from mine. Yet the story had to be my story; had to be written by me, from my perspective. All my characters needed to be free to express themselves realistically. Sandra's help proved invaluable. As a result, about a year ago, I began to find ways to allow my fictional characters to express their feelings for each other in a sensitive way. My writing block slowly melted away.
But, how does a seventy-five year old man expect to be able to write sensitively about the lives of teenagers? Those complicated teen years prior to high-school graduation create a dichotomy of emotions in everyone. We've all lived through those years. For me that was sixty years ago. Is there a parallel today? I think there is.
Teens! I address you!
These are tough times! It's time to face the first of your life's great adventures. As high-school graduation looms, it's the time when you discover that personal independence and responsibility are not things that you are given. These are things that you must take. Major decisions are required - by you! "Do I continue my education? Do I start my career?" Exciting? Yes! But also daunting! It might be necessary to leave family, friends, and those you love - possibly forever.
And love! Whether love for family, brotherly love of a close friend, or newly discovered passionate love; all forms of love add a complexity to the equation that is sometimes very hard to master. Like I said, "Tough times!"
'Jebediah Bilodeau' tells a story of these times.
Those close to me, who have read the entire book, tell me that this story is not totally fiction - it has biographical overtones - characters are recognized, including the occasional appearance of an old girlfriend of mine from my teenage years. I assure you that this story, scenes and events are fictional - purely my imagination. But what goes on in the minds of Caleb, Jeb, and Marly; who can tell?
When 'Jebediah Bilodeau' is published, I hope you enjoy reading it. For the present, please enjoy the first few chapters.
Is it possible to write a truly fictional novel that doesn't contain at least one semblance of the character and experiences of the author and those around him? I don't know the answer to that question. If I did, I probably wouldn't say.
