Jebediah Bilodeau |
A love story
by John Knapp |
How 'Jebediah Bilodeau' came to life!
This story did not begin it's life as a love story. It began in 2011 as a number of unrelated ramblings by me, a distraught caregiver tending for his wife and her sufferings due to Alzheimer's. I needed a release from the stresses of home life. When 'Home Help' came for a few hours each week, I grabbed my laptop and headed to the local library. There, I just pounded away on the keyboard until my fingers went numb, writing a few happy stories about young people coming to know and like each other.
Only later did I look back and see those ramblings as having some continuity; some possible story content. As the ramblings evolved slowly into the book, relationships between the principal characters also evolved and grew. For an author, their growing relationships gave me an emotional problem. Love! How was I going to put 'love' into words on a page? I continued to write surrounding chapters on various topics but whenever it came to a place that my characters wanted to express their love, I was blocked.
I began to realize that, if I was going to finish 'Jebediah Bilodeau', I was going to have to release some of my own inner feelings and inhibitions about love. One day, an even greater inhibition smacked me in the face. I would have to include at least one sex scene. Such a scene must not be pornographic if the story was to be sensitive and believable. How does a seventy-five year old person write such a scene? Apart from my personal experiences being now just distant memories, I also suffer from a more basic problem. I'm a man! Sensitive perspectives on sex and love are very difficult for most men to understand, let alone make public - me included. What should I do? Give up?
I spent quite a few months dreaming and worrying about it. Slowly, slowly, I started to think of my character's problems as being real, and mine. Everything got tangled up in my relationship with Donna over the years. What had happened to the love between Donna and me? Did it relate to my fictional characters?
Remarkably, from her care-home, Donna came to my rescue. Her disease had caused her to regress to her teenage years regarding her emotions towards me, her libido, and her love. She became much more open and expressive in her feelings than we ever were in the past. I learned a lesson from that. I practised a similar open expressiveness when talking to her of my love. What a difference I felt. Donna too! This was real and exciting, and since that time, I have been able to write about our emotions and our love in my 'Donna's Story' journals. It wasn't too long before I found ways to allow my fictional characters to express their love for each other in a sensitive way.
Jebediah Bilodeau is a fictional novel. The events and relationships expressed come purely from my imagination and bear no similarity to the 'real' Donna and John. When it is published, I hope you enjoy reading the book. For the present, please enjoy the first couple of chapters.
"Is 'Jebediah Bilodeau' totally fiction? Is there not something of my soul in there? Is it possible to write a truly fictional novel that doesn't contain at least one semblance of the character of the author?" I don't know the answer to these questions! If I did, I probably wouldn't say.
Only later did I look back and see those ramblings as having some continuity; some possible story content. As the ramblings evolved slowly into the book, relationships between the principal characters also evolved and grew. For an author, their growing relationships gave me an emotional problem. Love! How was I going to put 'love' into words on a page? I continued to write surrounding chapters on various topics but whenever it came to a place that my characters wanted to express their love, I was blocked.
I began to realize that, if I was going to finish 'Jebediah Bilodeau', I was going to have to release some of my own inner feelings and inhibitions about love. One day, an even greater inhibition smacked me in the face. I would have to include at least one sex scene. Such a scene must not be pornographic if the story was to be sensitive and believable. How does a seventy-five year old person write such a scene? Apart from my personal experiences being now just distant memories, I also suffer from a more basic problem. I'm a man! Sensitive perspectives on sex and love are very difficult for most men to understand, let alone make public - me included. What should I do? Give up?
I spent quite a few months dreaming and worrying about it. Slowly, slowly, I started to think of my character's problems as being real, and mine. Everything got tangled up in my relationship with Donna over the years. What had happened to the love between Donna and me? Did it relate to my fictional characters?
Remarkably, from her care-home, Donna came to my rescue. Her disease had caused her to regress to her teenage years regarding her emotions towards me, her libido, and her love. She became much more open and expressive in her feelings than we ever were in the past. I learned a lesson from that. I practised a similar open expressiveness when talking to her of my love. What a difference I felt. Donna too! This was real and exciting, and since that time, I have been able to write about our emotions and our love in my 'Donna's Story' journals. It wasn't too long before I found ways to allow my fictional characters to express their love for each other in a sensitive way.
Jebediah Bilodeau is a fictional novel. The events and relationships expressed come purely from my imagination and bear no similarity to the 'real' Donna and John. When it is published, I hope you enjoy reading the book. For the present, please enjoy the first couple of chapters.
"Is 'Jebediah Bilodeau' totally fiction? Is there not something of my soul in there? Is it possible to write a truly fictional novel that doesn't contain at least one semblance of the character of the author?" I don't know the answer to these questions! If I did, I probably wouldn't say.
A brief synopsis of Jebediah Bilodeau
Jebediah Bilodeau - a love story
Due to a dreadful natural disaster, two teenage boys are brought together.
After a rocky meeting, they quickly become good friends and spend much
of their time just doing things that teenage boys like to do.
Over time they develop strong bonds – a brotherly love – and come to rely on
each other for guidance as they slowly evolve into manhood.
Part of that evolution is the discovery that girls are very attractive and
appealing specimens of humanity. Emotions stemming from this realization
bring complexity in their lives they weren’t expecting.
This story, seen through the eyes of one of the boys, takes us through
a very complicated part of their lives as they mature and consider
where their lives might take them after they finish high school.
Perhaps they will pursue further education. Perhaps they will begin
their careers. Perhaps they will discover true and passionate love.
Perhaps all three.
Their road is rough in parts, happy and easy in parts,
and also tragic in parts.
Due to a dreadful natural disaster, two teenage boys are brought together.
After a rocky meeting, they quickly become good friends and spend much
of their time just doing things that teenage boys like to do.
Over time they develop strong bonds – a brotherly love – and come to rely on
each other for guidance as they slowly evolve into manhood.
Part of that evolution is the discovery that girls are very attractive and
appealing specimens of humanity. Emotions stemming from this realization
bring complexity in their lives they weren’t expecting.
This story, seen through the eyes of one of the boys, takes us through
a very complicated part of their lives as they mature and consider
where their lives might take them after they finish high school.
Perhaps they will pursue further education. Perhaps they will begin
their careers. Perhaps they will discover true and passionate love.
Perhaps all three.
Their road is rough in parts, happy and easy in parts,
and also tragic in parts.
