John Knapp
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by John Knapp

November 2016


​


​              My Wee Bout of Gout 


​

This poem befits my mood these days.  I am no longer allowed to eat any kind of meat, only seafood with fins; no crabs or prawns, no scallops or lobster. 

And worst of all; no more Shiraz.

​I cheat!

 
​         My Wee Bout of Gout

I, yesterday woke
            with a wee bout of gout.
The pain so intense,
            out loud I did shout.
“Begone!   Take a hike!
            Not on me, will you sprout.
Get out!  Yes, get out!
            You damned spot of gout.”

 
Relief, I did seek,
            from a flagon of stout.
Needless to say,
            my gout did not rout.
So I tried a rare T-bone.
            It, too, had no clout.
P’raps nothing could ease
            my wee bout of gout.

 
To God, next, I spoke;
            Her interventions, divine.
Asked, “What can you do
            to make me feel fine?”
Said She, “You’re ridiculous.
            Move to sublime.
Eat less meat!
            Drink less wine!”

 
My dreams now shattered,
            I look for a sign.
Her words understood.
            Must I now toe the line?
And munch only salads,
            food suited to kine.
What purpose life
            without meat, without wine?
​
 
My lips, they do pucker
            when I eat Sauer-kraut.
Neither Peter nor Jesus
            lived solely on trout.
But don’t you despair!
            Be not in doubt!
All this whining’s about
            is my wee bout of gout.
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  • John's Home Page
  • Writings & Ramblings
    • 'Donna's Story' >
      • About Donna's Story >
        • Donna and Me
        • About the Book
        • Where to Find Donna's Story
      • Journals >
        • 2017 >
          • January-17
          • February-17
          • March-17
          • April-17
          • May-17
          • June-17
          • July-17
          • August-17
          • September-17
          • October-17
          • November-17
        • 2018 >
          • January-18
          • February-18
          • March-18
          • April-18
          • May-18
          • June-18
          • October-18
          • December-18
        • 2019 >
          • March - 19
          • June - 19
          • December - 19
    • 'Jebediah Bilodeau' >
      • About Jebediah
      • 1 - An Unexpected Visitor
      • 2 - Jackson Farm
      • 3 - Uncle Bob
      • 4 - Coopersville
      • 5 - Swamp Rats
    • Short Stories >
      • 2014 - A Beautiful Obsession
      • 2014 - Snakes and Snails and Puppy Dog Tales
      • 2016 - Zen and the Art of Dishwasher Loading
      • 2016 - My Wee Bout of Gout
      • 2017 - On the Overuse of Adjectives
      • 2017 - Rumi and Navie
      • 2018 - Snigglin' Catfish
      • 2018 - Will the Real Donna-Jean Please Stand Up?
  • Send me a blog